“It Is With Deepest Regret That I Inform You…”

A few months ago, I turned down the possibility of a new job, with better pay and better benefits, that would probably have translated later into better opportunities. I think now that maybe I should’ve taken the chance when it was there.

On Tuesday, my boss called me into her office, a sad look on her face, and handed me a piece of paper.

Dear Corinna,

It is with deepest regret that I inform you that your employment with [redacted] will be eliminated effective November [redacted] since [redacted] has eliminated your position…

So this is the way the world ends. Not with a bang, but with a letter.

To be fair, I actually expected this. I work for a company that is contracted to a corporation, and we had already been informed that that corporation was making budget cuts, presumably in as many places as possible — whether out of necessity or corporate greed, I couldn’t say, but I can speculate — and that our contract was suddenly being renegotiated again. “Major changes are coming,” we learned, and here they are.

Okay, they’re not here yet. The date that we were told, in November, has not changed, which gives six out of ten of us — everyone except for the General Manager, AGM, Wellness Coach and most senior Exercise Specialist — time to look for new job prospects.

I thought I was fine. I thought, we can handle this. I still have an online part-time job, and I can write, and my fiancé still has his job and I can find something else, and I’m already looking. It happens — it is what it is — it’s fine.

Except… It’s not fine. It’s not fine for me, especially now that I have a mortgage to pay. It’s not fine after spending a year working here that it goes away just like that. It’s not fine for my friend who moved all the way from Pennsylvania to work here. It’s not fine for my supervisor, who also has a new mortgage and a family, and has been here since the facility opened. It’s not fine for my coworker who was just hired a few months ago.

My boss said that she is glad to have worked with me for as long as she has, and that we’re still going to have our Christmas party, now in October. It was nice of her to say, and, you know, I’m glad to have worked with her, too. And it’s worth acknowledging that none of this is her fault. But, the fact is, she still has a job, and I no longer do.

I don’t know what’ll happen now, but I know that it’s not going to just get better. The next couple of months are going to be difficult because not only do the majority of us have to leave in November, but now there’s a divide that must be navigated between those of us who will stay and those of us who will go. We don’t feel like as much of a team anymore, and between several of us who must go the mindset is already prevalent that there’s no point in caring about doing our jobs well anymore because no matter how hard we work and how excellent our performance is, we still have to leave. And while I can be happy for the ES who is staying, this is a new development in our friendship, a place in which I can’t relate to her. Especially while the news is still fresh, it’s tough.

I know that we’ll be okay. I’ll find something else. But right now… Right now, I’m scared. Nothing is fine, and none of this is okay.